Yesterday was amazing.

The day before was very difficult for me. On a scale of 1 to 10 with 1 being an "I feel the worst" kind of day, this day was probably a 2. The last several days had been very hard, too. One night I remember praying with John before we went to bed, asking God for mercy: that He would look upon my humanness and my frailty, that He would consider my frame and the smallness of my faith, and that He would show me His goodness in some way. My faith and hope in God felt like a small thread, and I was crying out to Him to strengthen it with some reminder of His grace.

Over the last three months of my feeling unwell, I can remember days like this one where I had prayed a similar prayer. It has been incredible to me to see how God would answer these prayers -- truly, His mercies are new every morning. It was often something small, like a call from a friend, compassion or practical help from family or someone from our church. But sometimes it was even the interruption of a new trial. Fracturing my foot and spraining my ankle was one of the biggest hidden blessings that I feel God has sent me in answer to prayer. I am so thankful for the added helplessnes and the helpful distraction it has been, and how it has helped me grow at the same time. It has also been a visible sign of the time of trial God has me in right now (in His mercy), which has provided an opportunity for me to see the compassion of others because of something they could more easily understand and relate to. There have been many days and weeks where difficulties and disappointments piled so high that John and I could almost laugh (after we cried :-)). And in the midst of it all, I had to praise God for showing me that He had not just forgotten about us -- that it was very apparent that He was sending trial after trial very deliberately. And He disciplines those He loves.

"“My son, do not regard lightly the discipline of the Lord,
nor be weary when reproved by him.
For the Lord disciplines the one he loves,
and chastises every son whom He receives.” (Hebrews 12:5-6)

But back to yesterday. This time the answer to my prayer was a day that was more like a 7 (refering again to the sickness scale above) -- I hadn't felt that good in so many weeks. I was able to get groceries, make dinner (all with the help of my awesome sister-in-law Hannah, of course :-)), clean house and really take care of my family in practical and non-practical ways. I was definitely sending up praises to God...especially at the end of the day, when I even had the energy to chase Isaac around the basement and tickle him like I haven't in forever! (But don't tell my PT; Running is still prohibited. ;-)) And instead of feeling like I had to do all those things to be a good mom, I realized like never before that being able to minister to my family like this is a privelege; not a burden. A gift from God to me that I can give to my family. I pray that God will continue to shape me through the difficulties He is sending.

"THAT I MAY KNOW HIM and the power of His resurrection, and may share His sufferings, becoming like Him in His death." -- Phil. 3:10