Reading through the only pages of this blog, I found this - from December, 2010:
"P.S. John says that next year I'm going to have a blog called "A Land Sown". I love how he encourages me -- and makes me laugh!! Praise God for that, what would I do without him."
I think "God Enriches" is pretty close... :-)
Monday, October 24, 2011
New Blog Title
Sometimes I think God does things just to make us laugh.
For the last year (about) that I have had this blog, it has been titled "A Land Not Sown". This was to describe what was easily the hardest year of my life, using the verse in Jeremiah 2: “I remember the devotion of your youth, your love as a bride, how you followed me in the wilderness, in a land not sown." (Jeremiah 2:2 ESV) Since that time, things have gotten easier. Then God picked up our family and moved us to a literal desert: Arizona. And then I look up the slogan for Arizona, which is the new title of my blog: "Ditat Deus", which means "God Enriches".
It is so neat how God shows His care for us in even the smallest providential ways. I loved how lush and green West Virginia was, even during my time of physical wilderness. And as God brings healing, He takes me to live in a desert. It seems a small thing that God worked it that way, but I know He did it to remind me that He always has a great plan that we can't see.
And it reminds me that, really...even in A Land Not Sown, God Enriches.
For the last year (about) that I have had this blog, it has been titled "A Land Not Sown". This was to describe what was easily the hardest year of my life, using the verse in Jeremiah 2: “I remember the devotion of your youth, your love as a bride, how you followed me in the wilderness, in a land not sown." (Jeremiah 2:2 ESV) Since that time, things have gotten easier. Then God picked up our family and moved us to a literal desert: Arizona. And then I look up the slogan for Arizona, which is the new title of my blog: "Ditat Deus", which means "God Enriches".
It is so neat how God shows His care for us in even the smallest providential ways. I loved how lush and green West Virginia was, even during my time of physical wilderness. And as God brings healing, He takes me to live in a desert. It seems a small thing that God worked it that way, but I know He did it to remind me that He always has a great plan that we can't see.
And it reminds me that, really...even in A Land Not Sown, God Enriches.
Wednesday, July 27, 2011
Yes, I have been enjoying Spurgeon lately. How did you guess? :-)
"Delight in divine service is a token of acceptance. Those who serve God with a sad countenance, because they do what is unpleasant to them, are not serving Him at all; they bring the form of homage, but the life is absent. Our God requires no slaves to grace His throne; He is the Lord of the empire of love, and would have His servants dressed in the livery of joy. The angels of God serve Him with songs, not with groans; a murmur or a sigh would be a mutiny in their ranks. That obedience which is not voluntary is disobedience, for the Lord looketh at the heart, and if He seeth that we serve Him from force, and not because we love Him, He will reject our offering. Service coupled with cheerfulness is heart-service, and therefore true. Take away joyful willingness from the Christian, and you have removed the test of his sincerity. If a man be driven to battle, he is no patriot; but he who marches into the fray with flashing eye and beaming face, singing, "It is sweet for one's country to die," proves himself to be sincere in his patriotism. Cheerfulness is the support of our strength; in the joy of the Lord are we strong. It acts as the remover of difficulties. It is to our service what oil is to the wheels of a railway carriage. Without oil the axle soon grows hot, and accidents occur; and if there be not a holy cheerfulness to oil our wheels, our spirits will be clogged with weariness. The man who is cheerful in his service of God, proves that obedience is his element; he can sing,
"Make me to walk in Thy commands, 'Tis a delightful road."
Reader, let us put this question--do you serve the Lord with gladness? Let us show to the people of the world, who think our religion to be slavery, that it is to us a delight and a joy! Let our gladness proclaim that we serve a good Master. "
- Charles Spurgeon
"Make me to walk in Thy commands, 'Tis a delightful road."
Reader, let us put this question--do you serve the Lord with gladness? Let us show to the people of the world, who think our religion to be slavery, that it is to us a delight and a joy! Let our gladness proclaim that we serve a good Master. "
- Charles Spurgeon
Tuesday, July 19, 2011
As Long as You Are Glorified
Shall I take from Your hand Your blessings,
Yet not welcome any pain?
Shall I thank You for days of sunshine,
Yet grumble in days of rain?
Shall I love You in times of plenty
Then leave You in days of drought?
Shall I trust when I reap a harvest
But when winter winds blow, then doubt?
Oh, let Your will be done in me
In Your love I will abide.
Oh, I long for nothing else as long
As You are glorified.
Are You good only when I prosper?
And true only when I’m filled?
Are You King only when I’m carefree?
And God only when I’m well?
You are good when I’m poor and needy.
You are true when I’m parched and dry.
You still reign in the deepest valley,
You’re still God in the darkest night.
© 2008 Sovereign Grace Praise
Yet not welcome any pain?
Shall I thank You for days of sunshine,
Yet grumble in days of rain?
Shall I love You in times of plenty
Then leave You in days of drought?
Shall I trust when I reap a harvest
But when winter winds blow, then doubt?
Oh, let Your will be done in me
In Your love I will abide.
Oh, I long for nothing else as long
As You are glorified.
Are You good only when I prosper?
And true only when I’m filled?
Are You King only when I’m carefree?
And God only when I’m well?
You are good when I’m poor and needy.
You are true when I’m parched and dry.
You still reign in the deepest valley,
You’re still God in the darkest night.
© 2008 Sovereign Grace Praise
Tuesday, June 28, 2011
"Looking unto Jesus."
Hebrews 12:2
It is ever the Holy Spirit's work to turn our eyes away from self to Jesus; but Satan's work is just the opposite of this, for he is constantly trying to make us regard ourselves instead of Christ. He insinuates, "Your sins are too great for pardon; you have no faith; you do not repent enough; you will never be able to continue to the end; you have not the joy of his children; you have such a wavering hold of Jesus." All these are thoughts about self, and we shall never find comfort or assurance by looking within. But the Holy Spirit turns our eyes entirely away from self: he tells us that we are nothing, but that "Christ is all in all." Remember, therefore, it is not thy hold of Christ that saves thee--it is Christ; it is not thy joy in Christ that saves thee--it is Christ; it is not even faith in Christ, though that be the instrument--it is Christ's blood and merits; therefore, look not so much to thy hand with which thou art grasping Christ, as to Christ; look not to thy hope, but to Jesus, the source of thy hope; look not to thy faith, but to Jesus, the author and finisher of thy faith. We shall never find happiness by looking at our prayers, our doings, or our feelings; it is what Jesus is, not what we are, that gives rest to the soul. If we would at once overcome Satan and have peace with God, it must be by "looking unto Jesus." Keep thine eye simply on him; let his death, his sufferings, his merits, his glories, his intercession, be fresh upon thy mind; when thou wakest in the morning look to him; when thou liest down at night look to him. Oh! let not thy hopes or fears come between thee and Jesus; follow hard after him, and he will never fail thee.
- Charles Spurgeon, Morning and Evening, June 28
Hebrews 12:2
It is ever the Holy Spirit's work to turn our eyes away from self to Jesus; but Satan's work is just the opposite of this, for he is constantly trying to make us regard ourselves instead of Christ. He insinuates, "Your sins are too great for pardon; you have no faith; you do not repent enough; you will never be able to continue to the end; you have not the joy of his children; you have such a wavering hold of Jesus." All these are thoughts about self, and we shall never find comfort or assurance by looking within. But the Holy Spirit turns our eyes entirely away from self: he tells us that we are nothing, but that "Christ is all in all." Remember, therefore, it is not thy hold of Christ that saves thee--it is Christ; it is not thy joy in Christ that saves thee--it is Christ; it is not even faith in Christ, though that be the instrument--it is Christ's blood and merits; therefore, look not so much to thy hand with which thou art grasping Christ, as to Christ; look not to thy hope, but to Jesus, the source of thy hope; look not to thy faith, but to Jesus, the author and finisher of thy faith. We shall never find happiness by looking at our prayers, our doings, or our feelings; it is what Jesus is, not what we are, that gives rest to the soul. If we would at once overcome Satan and have peace with God, it must be by "looking unto Jesus." Keep thine eye simply on him; let his death, his sufferings, his merits, his glories, his intercession, be fresh upon thy mind; when thou wakest in the morning look to him; when thou liest down at night look to him. Oh! let not thy hopes or fears come between thee and Jesus; follow hard after him, and he will never fail thee.
- Charles Spurgeon, Morning and Evening, June 28
Sunday, June 19, 2011
The Spirit of Giving
"Now, dear Christians, some of you pray night and day to be branches of the true Vine; you pray to be made all over in the image of Christ. If so, you must be like him in giving. A branch bears the same kind of fruit as the tree… An old divine says well: ‘What would have become of us if Christ had been as saving of His blood as some men are of their money?’
Objection 1: ‘My money is my own.’ Answer: Christ might have said, ‘My blood is my own, my life is my own’ …then where should we have been?
Objection 2: ‘The poor are undeserving.’ Answer: Christ might have said the same thing. ‘They are wicked rebels against my Father’s law: shall I lay down my life for these? I will give to the good angels.’ But no, He left the ninety-nine and came after the lost. He gave His blood for the undeserving.
Objection 3: ‘The poor may abuse it.’ Answer: Christ might have said the same; yea, with far greater truth. Christ knew that thousands would trample His blood under their feet; that most would despise it…yet He gave His own blood.
Oh, my dear Christians! If you would be like Christ, give much, give often, give freely, to the vile and the poor, the thankless and the undeserving. Christ is glorious and happy, and so will you be. It is not your money I want, but your happiness. Remember His own word: ‘It is more blessed to give than to receive.’
Robert Murray McCheyne (1813-1843)
Sermon 82
Objection 1: ‘My money is my own.’ Answer: Christ might have said, ‘My blood is my own, my life is my own’ …then where should we have been?
Objection 2: ‘The poor are undeserving.’ Answer: Christ might have said the same thing. ‘They are wicked rebels against my Father’s law: shall I lay down my life for these? I will give to the good angels.’ But no, He left the ninety-nine and came after the lost. He gave His blood for the undeserving.
Objection 3: ‘The poor may abuse it.’ Answer: Christ might have said the same; yea, with far greater truth. Christ knew that thousands would trample His blood under their feet; that most would despise it…yet He gave His own blood.
Oh, my dear Christians! If you would be like Christ, give much, give often, give freely, to the vile and the poor, the thankless and the undeserving. Christ is glorious and happy, and so will you be. It is not your money I want, but your happiness. Remember His own word: ‘It is more blessed to give than to receive.’
Robert Murray McCheyne (1813-1843)
Sermon 82
Thursday, May 26, 2011
A Grief Observed
It is raining here - an incredible storm. And the power just went out. :-) A good time to reflect, read, and write...
A couple years ago, I picked up A Grief Observed by C.S. Lewis. As an author that I thoroughly enjoyed, and easily (or maybe not, since there are rivals) my favorite, I was excited to get into it. I found myself a little surprised…I was not able to identify with his struggle over the death of his wife at all. Maybe I shouldn’t have been so surprised – but it seemed like he was talking about an aspect of God that I hadn’t met. There were some good conclusions at the end, but I still felt like I wouldn’t be able to understand for a very long time what this man was dealing with.
Then I opened the pages of it again this week. It was like a balm on my aching heart! This time I felt like there was someone who understood what I’m going through. I know having someone you love die must be different than this, but an aspect of it is just so similar…especially dealing with grief at such a deep level. It brings us all to the same place in wrestling with Who our God is. Here is some of what he wrote that was significant to me. First, the cruelty we sense in what is really God's mercy:
“The terrible thing is that a perfectly good God is in this matter hardly less formidable than a Cosmic Sadist. The more we believe that God hurts only to heal, the less we can believe that there is any use in begging for tenderness. A cruel man might be bribed – might grow tired of his vile sport -- might have a temporary fit of mercy, as alcoholics have fits of sobriety. But suppose that what you are up against is a surgeon whose intentions are wholly good. The kinder and more conscientious he is, the more inexorably he will go on cutting. If he yielded to your entreaties, if he stopped before the operation was complete, all the pain up to that point would have been useless. But is it credible that such extremities of torture should be necessary for us? Well, take your choice. The tortures occur. If they are unnecessary, then there is no God or a bad one. If there is a good God, then these tortures are necessary. For no even moderately good Being could possibly inflict or permit them if they weren't.
“What do people mean when they say ‘I am not afraid of God because I know He is good’? Have they never been to a dentist?”
And this part is so comforting to me. On how God teaches us to want HIM…not just the things He takes from us (in Lewis’ case, his wife “H”). And thoughts on how He sees and loves, even when we can’t understand His silence.
“Am I, for instance, just sidling back to God because I know that if there's any road to H. it runs through Him? But then of course I know perfectly well that He can't be used as a road. If you're approaching Him not as the goal but as a road, not as the end but as a means, you're not really approaching Him at all. That's what was really wrong with all those popular pictures of happy reunions ‘on the further shore’; not the simple-minded and very earthly images, but the fact that they make an End of what we can get only as a by-product of the true End.
“Lord, are these your real terms? Can I meet H. again only if I learned to love You so much that I don't care whether I meet her or not? Consider, Lord, how it looks to us. What would anyone think of me if I said to the boys, ‘no toffee now. But when you've grown up and don't really want toffee you shall have as much of it as you choose’?
If I knew that being eternally divided from H. and eternally forgotten by her would add greater joy and splendor to her being, of course I'd say, ‘Fire ahead.’ Just as if, on earth, I could have cured her cancer by never seeing her again, I'd have arranged never to see her again. I'd have had to. Any decent person would. But that's quite different. That's not a situation I'm in.
“When I lay these questions before God I get no answer. But a rather special sort of ‘no answer’. It is not the locked door. It is more like a silent, certainly not uncompassionate, gaze. As though He shook His head not in refusal but waiving the question. Like, ‘peace, child; you don't understand.’
“Can a mortal ask questions which God finds unanswerable? Quite easily, I should think. All nonsense questions are unanswerable. How many hours are there in a mile? Is yellow square or round? Probably half the questions we ask -- half our great theological and metaphysical problems -- are like that.
(…)
“His love and His knowledge are not distinct from one another, nor from Him. We could almost say He sees because He loves, and therefore loves although He sees.”
I am so thankful for Lewis' grieving, and for his transparency and giftedness in expressing it. Truly our God does "[comfort] us in our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God." I praise Him for that.
A couple years ago, I picked up A Grief Observed by C.S. Lewis. As an author that I thoroughly enjoyed, and easily (or maybe not, since there are rivals) my favorite, I was excited to get into it. I found myself a little surprised…I was not able to identify with his struggle over the death of his wife at all. Maybe I shouldn’t have been so surprised – but it seemed like he was talking about an aspect of God that I hadn’t met. There were some good conclusions at the end, but I still felt like I wouldn’t be able to understand for a very long time what this man was dealing with.
Then I opened the pages of it again this week. It was like a balm on my aching heart! This time I felt like there was someone who understood what I’m going through. I know having someone you love die must be different than this, but an aspect of it is just so similar…especially dealing with grief at such a deep level. It brings us all to the same place in wrestling with Who our God is. Here is some of what he wrote that was significant to me. First, the cruelty we sense in what is really God's mercy:
“The terrible thing is that a perfectly good God is in this matter hardly less formidable than a Cosmic Sadist. The more we believe that God hurts only to heal, the less we can believe that there is any use in begging for tenderness. A cruel man might be bribed – might grow tired of his vile sport -- might have a temporary fit of mercy, as alcoholics have fits of sobriety. But suppose that what you are up against is a surgeon whose intentions are wholly good. The kinder and more conscientious he is, the more inexorably he will go on cutting. If he yielded to your entreaties, if he stopped before the operation was complete, all the pain up to that point would have been useless. But is it credible that such extremities of torture should be necessary for us? Well, take your choice. The tortures occur. If they are unnecessary, then there is no God or a bad one. If there is a good God, then these tortures are necessary. For no even moderately good Being could possibly inflict or permit them if they weren't.
“What do people mean when they say ‘I am not afraid of God because I know He is good’? Have they never been to a dentist?”
And this part is so comforting to me. On how God teaches us to want HIM…not just the things He takes from us (in Lewis’ case, his wife “H”). And thoughts on how He sees and loves, even when we can’t understand His silence.
“Am I, for instance, just sidling back to God because I know that if there's any road to H. it runs through Him? But then of course I know perfectly well that He can't be used as a road. If you're approaching Him not as the goal but as a road, not as the end but as a means, you're not really approaching Him at all. That's what was really wrong with all those popular pictures of happy reunions ‘on the further shore’; not the simple-minded and very earthly images, but the fact that they make an End of what we can get only as a by-product of the true End.
“Lord, are these your real terms? Can I meet H. again only if I learned to love You so much that I don't care whether I meet her or not? Consider, Lord, how it looks to us. What would anyone think of me if I said to the boys, ‘no toffee now. But when you've grown up and don't really want toffee you shall have as much of it as you choose’?
If I knew that being eternally divided from H. and eternally forgotten by her would add greater joy and splendor to her being, of course I'd say, ‘Fire ahead.’ Just as if, on earth, I could have cured her cancer by never seeing her again, I'd have arranged never to see her again. I'd have had to. Any decent person would. But that's quite different. That's not a situation I'm in.
“When I lay these questions before God I get no answer. But a rather special sort of ‘no answer’. It is not the locked door. It is more like a silent, certainly not uncompassionate, gaze. As though He shook His head not in refusal but waiving the question. Like, ‘peace, child; you don't understand.’
“Can a mortal ask questions which God finds unanswerable? Quite easily, I should think. All nonsense questions are unanswerable. How many hours are there in a mile? Is yellow square or round? Probably half the questions we ask -- half our great theological and metaphysical problems -- are like that.
(…)
“His love and His knowledge are not distinct from one another, nor from Him. We could almost say He sees because He loves, and therefore loves although He sees.”
I am so thankful for Lewis' grieving, and for his transparency and giftedness in expressing it. Truly our God does "[comfort] us in our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God." I praise Him for that.
Friday, May 6, 2011
A miracle
“A ‘no’ answer has purged sin from my life. It has strengthened my commitment to Him, forced me to depend on grace, bound me with other believers, produced discernment, fostered sensitivity, disciplined my mind, taught me to spend my time wisely, and widened my world beyond what I would have ever dreamed had I never had that accident in 1967.
My affliction has stretched my hope, made me know Christ better, helped me long for truth, led me to repentance of sin, goaded me to give thanks in times of sorrow, increased my faith, and strengthened my character.
Being in this wheelchair has meant knowing Him better and feeling His pleasure every day. If that doesn’t qualify as a miracle in your book, then may I say in all kindness, I prefer my book to yours.”
- Joni Eareckson Tada, A Place of Healing: Wrestling with the Mysteries of Suffering, Pain, and God’s Sovereignty, 2010
My affliction has stretched my hope, made me know Christ better, helped me long for truth, led me to repentance of sin, goaded me to give thanks in times of sorrow, increased my faith, and strengthened my character.
Being in this wheelchair has meant knowing Him better and feeling His pleasure every day. If that doesn’t qualify as a miracle in your book, then may I say in all kindness, I prefer my book to yours.”
- Joni Eareckson Tada, A Place of Healing: Wrestling with the Mysteries of Suffering, Pain, and God’s Sovereignty, 2010
Wednesday, May 4, 2011
Wednesday, April 27, 2011
Oh! What a sea of encouragement...
“Casting all your care upon Him; for He careth for you” I Peter 5:7
It is a happy way of soothing sorrow when we can feel ‘He careth for me’. Christian! Do not dishonour your religion by always wearing a brow of care; come, cast your burden upon your Lord. You are staggering beneath a weight which your Father would not feel. What seems to you a crushing burden, would be to Him but as the small dust of the balance. Nothing is so sweet as to
‘Lie passive in God’s hands, and know no will but His.’
O child of suffering, be thou patient; God has not passed thee over in His providence. He who is the feeder of sparrows, will also furnish you with what you need. Sit not down in despair; hope on, hope ever. Take up the arms of faith against a sea of trouble and your opposition shall yet end your distresses. There is One who careth for you. His eye is fixed on you. His heart beats with pity for your woe, and his hand omnipotent shall yet bring you the needed help. The darkest cloud shall scatter itself in showers of mercy. The blackest gloom shall give place to the morning. He, if thou art one of His family, will bind up thy wounds, and heal thy broken heart. Doubt not His grace because of thy tribulation, but believe that He loveth thee as much in seasons of trouble as in times of happiness. What a serene and quiet life might you lead if you would leave providing to the God of providence! With a little oil in the cruse, and a handful of meal in the barrel, Elijah outlived the famine, and you will do the same.
If God cares for you, why need you care too? Can you trust Him for your soul, and not for your body? He has never refused to bear your burdens, He has never fainted under their weight. Come, then, soul! Have done with fretful care, and leave all thy concerns in the hand of a gracious God.
- Spurgeon, Morning and Evening
It is a happy way of soothing sorrow when we can feel ‘He careth for me’. Christian! Do not dishonour your religion by always wearing a brow of care; come, cast your burden upon your Lord. You are staggering beneath a weight which your Father would not feel. What seems to you a crushing burden, would be to Him but as the small dust of the balance. Nothing is so sweet as to
‘Lie passive in God’s hands, and know no will but His.’
O child of suffering, be thou patient; God has not passed thee over in His providence. He who is the feeder of sparrows, will also furnish you with what you need. Sit not down in despair; hope on, hope ever. Take up the arms of faith against a sea of trouble and your opposition shall yet end your distresses. There is One who careth for you. His eye is fixed on you. His heart beats with pity for your woe, and his hand omnipotent shall yet bring you the needed help. The darkest cloud shall scatter itself in showers of mercy. The blackest gloom shall give place to the morning. He, if thou art one of His family, will bind up thy wounds, and heal thy broken heart. Doubt not His grace because of thy tribulation, but believe that He loveth thee as much in seasons of trouble as in times of happiness. What a serene and quiet life might you lead if you would leave providing to the God of providence! With a little oil in the cruse, and a handful of meal in the barrel, Elijah outlived the famine, and you will do the same.
If God cares for you, why need you care too? Can you trust Him for your soul, and not for your body? He has never refused to bear your burdens, He has never fainted under their weight. Come, then, soul! Have done with fretful care, and leave all thy concerns in the hand of a gracious God.
- Spurgeon, Morning and Evening
Saturday, April 23, 2011
John Piper on Faith and Suffering
The great chapter on faith in the Bible is Hebrews 11. It begins, "Faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen." What is often overlooked in this chapter, though, is the final eight verses where we get the balanced picture of faith as that which lays hold on God for rescue from suffering, and as that which lays hold on God for peace and hope in suffering. Verse 33: "By faith they conquered kingdoms, performed acts of righteousness, obtained promises, shut the mouths of lions, quenched the power of fire, escaped the edge of the sword, from weakness were made strong, became mighty in war, put foreign armies to flight. Women received back their dead by resurrection."
Now if we stopped reading here our conception of how the quality of faith manifests itself would be very distorted, because here it sounds as if faith always wins in this life. But here a shift occurs and we find that faith is also the power to lose our life: "By faith . . . others were tortured, not accepting release, in order that they might obtain a better resurrection; others experienced mockings and scourgings, yes, also chains and imprisonment. They were stoned, they were sawn in two, they were tempted, they were put to death with the sword; they went about in sheep skins, in goat skins, being destitute, afflicted, ill-treated (men of whom the world was not worthy) wandering in deserts and mountains and caves and holes in the ground . . . And all these gained approval through their faith."
The glory of God is manifested when he heals and when he gives a sweet spirit of hope and peace to the person that he does not heal, for that, too, is a miracle of grace! O, that we might be a people among whom God is often healing our sicknesses, but is always causing us to be full of joy and peace while our sicknesses remain. If we are a humble and childlike people who cry out to God in our need and trust in his promises, the Holy Spirit will help us and God will bless our church with every possible blessing. He will, as the text says, work everything together for our good.
(URL: http://www.desiringgod.org/resource-library/sermons/christ-and-cancer#/listen/full)
Now if we stopped reading here our conception of how the quality of faith manifests itself would be very distorted, because here it sounds as if faith always wins in this life. But here a shift occurs and we find that faith is also the power to lose our life: "By faith . . . others were tortured, not accepting release, in order that they might obtain a better resurrection; others experienced mockings and scourgings, yes, also chains and imprisonment. They were stoned, they were sawn in two, they were tempted, they were put to death with the sword; they went about in sheep skins, in goat skins, being destitute, afflicted, ill-treated (men of whom the world was not worthy) wandering in deserts and mountains and caves and holes in the ground . . . And all these gained approval through their faith."
The glory of God is manifested when he heals and when he gives a sweet spirit of hope and peace to the person that he does not heal, for that, too, is a miracle of grace! O, that we might be a people among whom God is often healing our sicknesses, but is always causing us to be full of joy and peace while our sicknesses remain. If we are a humble and childlike people who cry out to God in our need and trust in his promises, the Holy Spirit will help us and God will bless our church with every possible blessing. He will, as the text says, work everything together for our good.
(URL: http://www.desiringgod.org/resource-library/sermons/christ-and-cancer#/listen/full)
Wednesday, March 16, 2011
I used to be a big dreamer. In my teen years I was so passionate and determined, and I knew what I wanted: to be a world-changer. In my own words back then, I didn't want to just be a scratch on the surface of time -- I wanted to be a chasm. I didn't know how this would come about or what this would look like, but I was pretty sure I was going to be a Katharina Von Bora and marry a Martin Luther...or something like that.
Reflecting on those girl-hood hopes brings some irony when I look at where I am right now. Today found me on the constant verge of a panic attack just chasing around two toddlers, and that is typical for me these days...not just that, I'm praising God that I'm doing well enough to do that much! And so I realize that those dreams are just as good now as then, but my perception of what that girl should look like has changed. Because right now, incapable and needy and lost little me fills that role just as much as what I had always dreamed I should. Not because of me, but because of who I am in God. And it sure doesn't look like anything to aspire to. God works His greatest miracles in the most unexpected places. It is so true that God chose what is foolish in the world to shame the wise.
Reflecting on those girl-hood hopes brings some irony when I look at where I am right now. Today found me on the constant verge of a panic attack just chasing around two toddlers, and that is typical for me these days...not just that, I'm praising God that I'm doing well enough to do that much! And so I realize that those dreams are just as good now as then, but my perception of what that girl should look like has changed. Because right now, incapable and needy and lost little me fills that role just as much as what I had always dreamed I should. Not because of me, but because of who I am in God. And it sure doesn't look like anything to aspire to. God works His greatest miracles in the most unexpected places. It is so true that God chose what is foolish in the world to shame the wise.
Thursday, March 10, 2011
When Gollum Bit His Finger Off
by Douglas Wilson
Believers often find themselves up against it. The challenge might be medical, familial, financial, educational, or personal. We tend to think in terms of pressure or stress, and when it gets really bad, trouble. The old Puritans thought in terms of affliction, as well as in terms of God's antidote to affliction, which is contentment. Samuel Rutherford once said that affliction was like a wine cellar. When I am afflicted, he said, I look for God's choicest wines.
Contentment is not something that is suspended in a timeless place, but is rather what God is teaching us while we wait for our deliverance. And we are supposed to be looking for that deliverance in such a way as gives us rest in the present. There is a faithless way of looking for deliverance that exacerbates the present troubles, and there is a way of looking for future deliverance that brings a present deliverance. We are called to the latter.
There are two things to remember as you are carrying the weight of an affliction. The first is the "space" of the deliverance, and the other is the "time" of the deliverance. Let us consider the second of these first.
It was a proverb among the descendants of Abraham that "on the mount of the Lord it will be provided." This came from God's provision of a ram for Abraham at the last minute, to be substituted for Isaac. As He tells the stories of our lives, we need to come to grips with the fact that God loves cliffhangers. The application that we should draw from this is that we should love cliffhangers too -- even though we are the ones hanging from the cliff.
With regard to the "space" of the trial, a weighty difficulty has mass, it takes up room. It is something you have to carry. But as you carry it (to be distinguished from collapsing under it), you grow stronger. Afflictions are God's weight room, and He can seem sometimes like a particularly hard trainer. When you are benching more than you thought you volunteered for, and way more than what you thought was a good idea, you need to trust Him. He knows more about this than we do.
It may seem odd to quote an unbeliever at this point, but I only do so to provide an analogy. Oliver Wendell Holmes once said that when a mind expands to accommodate a new thought, it can never afterward resume its old shape. Once you have carried that weight, you have carried that weight and can do so again -- with a lot less commotion in your soul this next time. When your faith has grown to accommodate the task of carrying the weight of your 2010 trials, you should find yourself (in 2014) carrying things that you would have at one time declared an impossibility.
The deliverance is coming, and we should all long for it. But there are two deliverances -- one is the natural "last chapter" to that particular story. But the other deliverance revolves around what is happening in the story. Frodo was delivered when Gollum bit his finger off, but he was also delivered when he first agreed to take the ring. This last deliverance is much harder to see, but seeing it makes all the difference.
(URL here: http://www.dougwils.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=8493:when-gollum-bit-his-finger-off&catid=85:dealing-with-sin)
by Douglas Wilson
Believers often find themselves up against it. The challenge might be medical, familial, financial, educational, or personal. We tend to think in terms of pressure or stress, and when it gets really bad, trouble. The old Puritans thought in terms of affliction, as well as in terms of God's antidote to affliction, which is contentment. Samuel Rutherford once said that affliction was like a wine cellar. When I am afflicted, he said, I look for God's choicest wines.
Contentment is not something that is suspended in a timeless place, but is rather what God is teaching us while we wait for our deliverance. And we are supposed to be looking for that deliverance in such a way as gives us rest in the present. There is a faithless way of looking for deliverance that exacerbates the present troubles, and there is a way of looking for future deliverance that brings a present deliverance. We are called to the latter.
There are two things to remember as you are carrying the weight of an affliction. The first is the "space" of the deliverance, and the other is the "time" of the deliverance. Let us consider the second of these first.
It was a proverb among the descendants of Abraham that "on the mount of the Lord it will be provided." This came from God's provision of a ram for Abraham at the last minute, to be substituted for Isaac. As He tells the stories of our lives, we need to come to grips with the fact that God loves cliffhangers. The application that we should draw from this is that we should love cliffhangers too -- even though we are the ones hanging from the cliff.
With regard to the "space" of the trial, a weighty difficulty has mass, it takes up room. It is something you have to carry. But as you carry it (to be distinguished from collapsing under it), you grow stronger. Afflictions are God's weight room, and He can seem sometimes like a particularly hard trainer. When you are benching more than you thought you volunteered for, and way more than what you thought was a good idea, you need to trust Him. He knows more about this than we do.
It may seem odd to quote an unbeliever at this point, but I only do so to provide an analogy. Oliver Wendell Holmes once said that when a mind expands to accommodate a new thought, it can never afterward resume its old shape. Once you have carried that weight, you have carried that weight and can do so again -- with a lot less commotion in your soul this next time. When your faith has grown to accommodate the task of carrying the weight of your 2010 trials, you should find yourself (in 2014) carrying things that you would have at one time declared an impossibility.
The deliverance is coming, and we should all long for it. But there are two deliverances -- one is the natural "last chapter" to that particular story. But the other deliverance revolves around what is happening in the story. Frodo was delivered when Gollum bit his finger off, but he was also delivered when he first agreed to take the ring. This last deliverance is much harder to see, but seeing it makes all the difference.
(URL here: http://www.dougwils.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=8493:when-gollum-bit-his-finger-off&catid=85:dealing-with-sin)
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
It is so hard to grasp a God Who is so great and awesome that He created grand mountains and swirling seas, so tender that He created sweet babies and delicate flowers...
Yet also allows my pain.
My Mom is staying with us right now. She, John and the kids are all sleeping soundly. I am too sick to sleep. We are all equally precious to Him...but He has chosen me for this. In the last two years I have hemorrhaged, had hypothyroidism, 2 surgeries, a miscarriage, a broken foot, a kidney infection (this is day 3 out of the hospital), and the ongoing postpartum psychosis that has been the most unbearable. But friends are having babies, getting married, and experiencing hosts of joyous occasions. This is our God; He is Lord of both.
It encourages me so much to look at Jesus. We don't have to ask if He was valuable to God. And yet He went through All of That, with God fully understanding what He was asking of His Son.
Right now I am nauseated, full of manic wakefullness and anxiety and panic that are beyond my control, and exhausted from not eating or sleeping well for two weeks. I watch the clock, waiting for my family to wake up to help comfort and distract me. And I'm asking God, how long? And reminding Him to have mercy on my humanness. Pleading.
But let me not forget Your mercies, Lord! Willing friends and family who have opened their hands to help me during all of this. A husband who, I have no doubt, has been given HUGE amounts of grace from God to adequately love, encourage and comfort me every day as he does. That my children are somehow surviving all of this. The tears that friends cry for me as they pray for my healing. Thank You for showing your love through these things.
Yet also allows my pain.
My Mom is staying with us right now. She, John and the kids are all sleeping soundly. I am too sick to sleep. We are all equally precious to Him...but He has chosen me for this. In the last two years I have hemorrhaged, had hypothyroidism, 2 surgeries, a miscarriage, a broken foot, a kidney infection (this is day 3 out of the hospital), and the ongoing postpartum psychosis that has been the most unbearable. But friends are having babies, getting married, and experiencing hosts of joyous occasions. This is our God; He is Lord of both.
It encourages me so much to look at Jesus. We don't have to ask if He was valuable to God. And yet He went through All of That, with God fully understanding what He was asking of His Son.
Right now I am nauseated, full of manic wakefullness and anxiety and panic that are beyond my control, and exhausted from not eating or sleeping well for two weeks. I watch the clock, waiting for my family to wake up to help comfort and distract me. And I'm asking God, how long? And reminding Him to have mercy on my humanness. Pleading.
But let me not forget Your mercies, Lord! Willing friends and family who have opened their hands to help me during all of this. A husband who, I have no doubt, has been given HUGE amounts of grace from God to adequately love, encourage and comfort me every day as he does. That my children are somehow surviving all of this. The tears that friends cry for me as they pray for my healing. Thank You for showing your love through these things.
Thursday, February 3, 2011
(I started typing this up a couple months ago, and just got around to finishing it...it was good to remember some of these things. )
(From my journal on 9/30/10...)
"The foolishness in thinking that God won't be faithful to you is not just that this signifies a doubt concerning the character of God, but also that it reveals an idea concerning yourself that is false: that you are important. You are important to God, but that is simplly an outpouring of grace - you deserve none of it. And if your importance lies in the grace that exists because of the character of God, then you are important, but this is only because of God's mercy. This is why we can trust that God will care for us, and that He will be faithful: Our importance is rooted not in ourselves, but in His character. He can no more cease being faithful to us than He can cease being Who He is."
I was thinking about this a lot this morning. It's amazing how we can think that our trials are more important than the trials that someone else faces...because we are more concerned about what we could lose than what someone else could lose. And this is primarily because we have this idea that we are more important than they are. It is terrible when you actually get down to the heart of matters and realize how selfish you are. :-)
Clearly, though, if our importance is rooted in Who God is and not who we are, we are all equally important to God and equally instrumental in His plan for His glory. He will take care of us...so that takes a big weight off our shoulders and mind, and opens our hands and hearts for concern for others. The moments that have been easiest for me in the past months were moments where I was carried up in someone elses trial that seemed much bigger than my own, or when I was witnessing the suffering of another that made me completely caught up in compassion for them. I so often felt dry for compassion from others, and here I could stop thinking of myself and pour it out on others who were in need of compassion. Compassion is such a beautiful thing -- and where would compassion be without suffering? As Jesus wept for Lazurus, for Mary and Martha and their pain, when He knew He had all power to reverse the loss they were experiencing and even would do so very soon! But if He had not allowed that suffering and loss to be experienced, we would not have been able to see His compassion as He wept for those He loved, or His power as He raised Lazurus from the dead.
These paragraphs from John Piper's book "When the Darkness Will Not Lift" have made me think about this a lot:
“How Bill Leslie became a watered garden and a spring: He told of a near breakdown that he had and how a spiritual mentor directed him to Isaiah 58. He said it was verses 10–11 that rescued him from a season of darkness marked by feelings of exhaustion, burnout, and a dead-end ministry The text says:
'And if you pour yourself out for the hungry, and satisfy the desire of the afflicted, then your light will rise in darkness, and your gloom will become like midday. And the Lord will continually guide you, and satisfy your desire in scorched places, and give strength to your bones; and you will be like a watered garden, and like a spring of water whose waters do not fail.'
What struck Pastor Leslie so powerfully was the fact that if we pour ourselves out for others, God promises to make us like a watered garden—that is, we will receive the water we need for refreshment and joy. But even more: we will thus be a spring of water that does not fail—for others, for the demanding, exhausting, draining ministry of urban self-giving. He saw that God’s way of lifting gloom and turning it into light was to pour yourself out for the hungry and satisfy the desire of the afflicted. This gave him a pattern of divine life that got him through his crisis and kept him going for the rest of his days.
God has made us to flourish by being spent for others. Jesus said, “it is more blessed to give than to receive.” Most of us do not choose against this life of outpouring, we drift away from it. We confuse pressure and family life and stresses at work with Christian sacrifice, when in fact much of it has little to do with meeting the needs of the hungry and afflicted and perishing.”
(From my journal on 9/30/10...)
"The foolishness in thinking that God won't be faithful to you is not just that this signifies a doubt concerning the character of God, but also that it reveals an idea concerning yourself that is false: that you are important. You are important to God, but that is simplly an outpouring of grace - you deserve none of it. And if your importance lies in the grace that exists because of the character of God, then you are important, but this is only because of God's mercy. This is why we can trust that God will care for us, and that He will be faithful: Our importance is rooted not in ourselves, but in His character. He can no more cease being faithful to us than He can cease being Who He is."
I was thinking about this a lot this morning. It's amazing how we can think that our trials are more important than the trials that someone else faces...because we are more concerned about what we could lose than what someone else could lose. And this is primarily because we have this idea that we are more important than they are. It is terrible when you actually get down to the heart of matters and realize how selfish you are. :-)
Clearly, though, if our importance is rooted in Who God is and not who we are, we are all equally important to God and equally instrumental in His plan for His glory. He will take care of us...so that takes a big weight off our shoulders and mind, and opens our hands and hearts for concern for others. The moments that have been easiest for me in the past months were moments where I was carried up in someone elses trial that seemed much bigger than my own, or when I was witnessing the suffering of another that made me completely caught up in compassion for them. I so often felt dry for compassion from others, and here I could stop thinking of myself and pour it out on others who were in need of compassion. Compassion is such a beautiful thing -- and where would compassion be without suffering? As Jesus wept for Lazurus, for Mary and Martha and their pain, when He knew He had all power to reverse the loss they were experiencing and even would do so very soon! But if He had not allowed that suffering and loss to be experienced, we would not have been able to see His compassion as He wept for those He loved, or His power as He raised Lazurus from the dead.
These paragraphs from John Piper's book "When the Darkness Will Not Lift" have made me think about this a lot:
“How Bill Leslie became a watered garden and a spring: He told of a near breakdown that he had and how a spiritual mentor directed him to Isaiah 58. He said it was verses 10–11 that rescued him from a season of darkness marked by feelings of exhaustion, burnout, and a dead-end ministry The text says:
'And if you pour yourself out for the hungry, and satisfy the desire of the afflicted, then your light will rise in darkness, and your gloom will become like midday. And the Lord will continually guide you, and satisfy your desire in scorched places, and give strength to your bones; and you will be like a watered garden, and like a spring of water whose waters do not fail.'
What struck Pastor Leslie so powerfully was the fact that if we pour ourselves out for others, God promises to make us like a watered garden—that is, we will receive the water we need for refreshment and joy. But even more: we will thus be a spring of water that does not fail—for others, for the demanding, exhausting, draining ministry of urban self-giving. He saw that God’s way of lifting gloom and turning it into light was to pour yourself out for the hungry and satisfy the desire of the afflicted. This gave him a pattern of divine life that got him through his crisis and kept him going for the rest of his days.
God has made us to flourish by being spent for others. Jesus said, “it is more blessed to give than to receive.” Most of us do not choose against this life of outpouring, we drift away from it. We confuse pressure and family life and stresses at work with Christian sacrifice, when in fact much of it has little to do with meeting the needs of the hungry and afflicted and perishing.”
Monday, January 31, 2011
He delivers us from evil
I realized something yesterday. My typical biggest fear is not that what I have isn't as good as what I could have. My typical biggest fear is that the good that I do have will be taken away by something painful, some great trial or suffering. This is why now, in the midst of my suffering, being told that God is allowing my suffering for my good isn't fully comforting. It doesn't fully assure me of God's love for me, because what I feel the need for is not a greater good, but salvation from the greater evil.
What I stated above is why coming to the following realization was so powerful for me: that God isn't allowing my suffering simply because what I had wasn't good enough, but He is allowing it to protect me from suffering at a much greater level. My sanctification is stripping me and purging my of sin -- I can hardly know fully what this means, but I have to realize that sin is at the root of every suffering. Removing sin from my life IS deliverence! Somehow, although both perspectives are equally true, for me it is so much more helpful to realize what I am being saved FROM rather than the good I am being saved TO. My God IS saving me by the very MEANS of my suffering! I can cling to Him in my pain, knowing that He is Savior from my pain. He loves me. He is saving me. Not someday, when I'm all better; right now, through my pain.
This helps me to see Him right now as my Protector, my Savior, my Deliverer; the one Who cries with me as I grieve and weep, the One Who holds me as I break under the load He has placed on me.
He is not my Savior and Deliverer because of what will be someday; He is my Savior because of what He is allowing right now.
Oh, what a loving and merciful God we have.
What I stated above is why coming to the following realization was so powerful for me: that God isn't allowing my suffering simply because what I had wasn't good enough, but He is allowing it to protect me from suffering at a much greater level. My sanctification is stripping me and purging my of sin -- I can hardly know fully what this means, but I have to realize that sin is at the root of every suffering. Removing sin from my life IS deliverence! Somehow, although both perspectives are equally true, for me it is so much more helpful to realize what I am being saved FROM rather than the good I am being saved TO. My God IS saving me by the very MEANS of my suffering! I can cling to Him in my pain, knowing that He is Savior from my pain. He loves me. He is saving me. Not someday, when I'm all better; right now, through my pain.
This helps me to see Him right now as my Protector, my Savior, my Deliverer; the one Who cries with me as I grieve and weep, the One Who holds me as I break under the load He has placed on me.
He is not my Savior and Deliverer because of what will be someday; He is my Savior because of what He is allowing right now.
Oh, what a loving and merciful God we have.
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
Thursday, January 6, 2011
."Give me all of you!!! I don’t want so much of your time, so much of your talents and money, and so much of your work. I want YOU!!! ALL OF YOU!! I have not come to torment or frustrate the natural man or woman, but to KILL IT! No half measures will do. I don’t want to only prune a branch here and a branch there; rather I want the whole tree out! Hand it over to me, the whole outfit, all of your desires, all of your wants and wishes and dreams. Turn them ALL over to me, give yourself to me and I will make of you a new self---in my image. Give me yourself and in exchange I will give you Myself. My will, shall become your will. My heart, shall become your heart."
— C.S. Lewis (Mere Christianity)
"That is a hard and bitter condition to endure, especially when we think of our own infirmities. For we are so frail that the merest nothing fills us with despair. Let us learn, therefore, to rest in the certain hope that we will finally be filled, and that God will supply everything we lack. If today we are like those who are at death's door, devoid of inner strength and outside help, if today we are in the direst of straits, let this hope support and sustain us, as we look to God whose work is to satisfy the hungry."
- John Calvin
— C.S. Lewis (Mere Christianity)
"That is a hard and bitter condition to endure, especially when we think of our own infirmities. For we are so frail that the merest nothing fills us with despair. Let us learn, therefore, to rest in the certain hope that we will finally be filled, and that God will supply everything we lack. If today we are like those who are at death's door, devoid of inner strength and outside help, if today we are in the direst of straits, let this hope support and sustain us, as we look to God whose work is to satisfy the hungry."
- John Calvin
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